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Love Languages

Updated: Nov 19, 2021

A 4 letter word, with only 1 syllable, yet the power has challenged even the best of us. Some of us search our whole lives to find that feeling. Much has been sacrificed in its name. It can bring out the best in us, and at other times the worst. Over time, great poets, artists, philosophers, prophets and more, have tried to create templates for understanding the powerful force packed in such a small package (you know what they say, “big things come in small packages”). Despite all we know about the history, we still go after it wholeheartedly!, or do we? Is it even a choice?



By now you may know I’m talking about the word LOVE! The sound of the name makes it almost impossible not to think of what it means to you. We all have our own understanding of love based on our personal experiences, beginning with our parents. You may even think of someone or something that makes you feel the power of LOVE or the lack thereof. But have you ever thought about the way you give love? Or even a step further to think of the way you like to receive love?



It actually may seem really simple, yet so many of us never even take the time to think about our “love language”. You may be thinking, “I didn’t know love had a language,” but I say, thank goodness it does, how else would we understand the complexities of it.



“ The 5 Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.” A book in which Author and Love Coach, Gary Chapman explained the 5 Love Languages as: Act of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Gifts and Quality Time. In a nutshell, Gary believed based on his personal and professional research, that expressions of love could be explained from these 5 perspectives.



Since the publication of this work 30 years ago, there has been lots of discussion around the concept that if you understand or are matched with someone that shares your love language, it will be a successful relationship. Some believe being attached to only one view or expression of love can be limiting and can prevent the potential for growth.



One of the most valuable parts of understanding Love Languages is being able to objectively look at yourself and how you choose to show those in your life you love them (romantically or otherwise). The first step to understanding love is to have an understanding self. How can we demonstrate the way we desire to be loved if not through love of self?



The most shocking part for most after coming to understand The Love Languages is the realization that unconsciously many of us love our people the way we like to receive love, instead of simply asking “ How Do You Receive Love?” While it may be very possible that we may share the same love language as our significant others, it’s also very possible that the way we choose to show love is not necessarily the way others may understand love.



So what does all of this even mean?



The truth is, we may never understand love. And maybe it’s because it’s not meant to be understood, but experienced. Ultimately, Love Languages are a tool for building successful relationships. The true key to growing in any relationship is based in communication. We have to realize we cannot teach others about how we desire to be loved or what will make the relationship mutually beneficial unless we are clear about who we are! Everything else expands from there.


For more on this conversation or similar conversations check us out of FB at "The Sip Unplugged"


- Hyacinth Powell



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